Mayor's Office of Employee Assistance
Ways to Build Better Relationships
With busy schedules and multiple demands at home and work, it’s easy to take your relationships for granted. But the quality of your relationships with your spouse and children is the foundation on which your family is built. Good communication takes time
and teamwork. It’s a process in which the whole family should become involved.
Spend Time Together
The most important relationships in your life deserve your time and attention. If you feel that you’re spending too much time on work and not enough with your family, it’s time to re-evaluate your priorities.
After you hang up your coat and put away your briefcase, dedicate your first 15 minutes at home to your children.
Mark on the calendar part of each weekend to spend some private time with each child.
Make a point to spend at least an hour alone with your spouse each day, no matter how busy you are with work and parenting responsibilities.
Make Time to Discuss Problems
One of the first strategies to build and strengthen your family communication is to avoid letting aggravations accumulate. When frustrations are not vented, they can lead to unpleasant explosions that do no one any good.
Try setting up family meetings, perhaps once a
week, as a time for open dialog. Each member of the family can use this time to get little annoyances off their chests. If someone feels resentful that they always do a particular household chore without any help, for example, this is a time to bring up their
feelings.
Have Fun Together
Strong family relationships are based on sharing all kinds of experiences. Make a point of planning fun activities your family can enjoy together, such as camping, bicycling and taking trips to the movies,
museums and libraries.
When You Argue, Do So Constructively
Arguments all too often turn into mudslinging events. Stick to the point and avoid dragging out old quarrels. Try to maintain a positive approach. If you have a
legitimate concern, focus on it. Resist the temptation to bicker about things that have no bearing on the issue at hand. Also, be
willing to give a little and compromise.
Put Yourself in the Other Person’s Shoes
Don’t lose sight of the other person’s perspective; learn to value it. Listen and acknowledge the other person’s concerns, then discuss why you perceive the situation differently. Encourage that person to explain his or her feelings and make assurances that
you want to understand his or her perspective.
Then make an honest attempt to really listen.
Accept Feelings; Avoid Judgment
Even if something seems ridiculous to you, it may be of genuine concern to the other party. Feelings are real, so take them seriously. In the areas where you have conflicts, work together to pinpoint the
trouble spots and implement changes to correct
them.
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